ReArranging my Control Freak Rebel Head Space
2013 floats away
2013 did not go as planned.
It was full of ups and downs, highs and lows and a lot of ReArranging.
ReArranging my idea of what I thought the year should look like.
ReArranging my calendar to suit other more pressing priorities.
ReArranging my control freak headspace to make room for ‘Close Enough’
ReArranging my goals and intentions
ReArranging my expectations
ReArranging Me
Don’t get me wrong, 2013 did not come empty handed. It came bearing gifts…just not in a form that I could easily recognize or accept. I’d be lying if I said I was over the moon with delight.
The gifts seemed hidden beneath layers of confusion, irritation and hard work.
Eventually I got sick and tired of listening to my own lizard brain whining. I stuffed my ears with soul-cotton and embraced the silence.
Pausing between jobs to gain a little distance and make sense of the form of the gift became an interesting new pastime, a nature borne practice of Awareness.
Turned out the gifts were many. Diverse. Quirky. Some very large, some almost invisible. Some colourful and full of celebration, some floating on tears. No gift turned up alone. They all showed up as a hand holding, soul-sister sidekick to Challenge.
These are some of my favorites-
- Challenge
Big Men and Big Machinery moved in to reinforce retaining walls around the house. There was no choice but to demolish a good part of our ‘finished’ yard along with the well worn walking path down to the forest and lake lookout.
Gifts:
I got to build my first set of outside hills steps, complete with hand posts, step runners and a suitably creative ‘broken paver’ landing area at the base. Each and every time I walk down those steps I remember the fun I had building them. With a little helpful instruction from Lee, I managed to pull this off. I feel accomplished, strong and just a little stunned at the job I did.
forest steps
- Challenge
Yard renovations meant a summer of landscaping for me.
Ugh. I was pretty sure I had enough yard work to do already. Uneven, dusty, steep and clay bounded areas called out for attention. It felt overwhelming.
Gifts:
Inspiration! I spied the perfect spot for a raised garden…something I’d always wanted but never had room for.
It occurred to me that with some effort I could do this…I mean, I’d just built a flight of steps, right?
So I dug out the site, lavished the soil with rich, nourishing humus I’d hauled out of the boreal forest floor, turned stakes into pickets and laid a small paving stone walkway. My body loved all the exercise and muscle building. Oh ya, 2013 delivered in spades! Best of all, I got to paint my faux picket fence edging with Mak, my grandgirl. She chose the colours and we happily did the job.
faux picket fence
- Challenge
60+ days of medical travel to and from my man’s medical treatments. 10 hours each way, many trips required.
Gifts:
Pulling off the busy highway, a gravel road carries you a mile or so to a landscape rolling in green. A chorus of nearby-pond frogs serenades as you sip hot coffee, nibble homemade muffins and inhale the flavour of your lush surroundings. The breeze rolls down the gentle hills and wraps you in summer.
Another graveled turnoff delivers you high and dry, next to a hilltop pasture where you eyeball a strong, silent bison. His confidence and ease meets your gaze. He knows he’s master of his domain…and now you know it too.
Standing in awe of Mother Nature’s work, overlooking ancient vistas and appreciating breathing into a new perspective.
Horseshoe Canyon
Do I want a repeat of 2013. Nope. I’m ready to celebrate the year, call it a wrap.
But I’m mindful of the biggest gift of all. It’s invisible, intangible, priceless.
Eventually I could not see the challenge for the Gift. Neat, huh.
Move over, Control Freak Head Space. 2014 is going to be a year to remember for all the best of reasons.
Happy New Year to you and yours.
Dawn
<a href=”http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/11490115/?claim=khnj9cr2zzd”>Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>
Comments (15)
Lovely reminder on how to see with new eyes. Your journey shared is our journey witnessed.
Despite the rising to challenges, I am so happy that 2014 is here!
Hi Debra,
While it’s true that no one can live our journey for us, it is sweet song indeed to share the path with resonant souls. Deep thanks for your words. They ring loud and clear.
May 2014 bring you wholehearted happiness. Dawn.
Wonderful post. My word for 2013 was grateful. And I was anywhere but there when the year started but I claimed it and the lessons flowed through. Such an amazing thing to realize that in all of the seasons of our life the transformation continues. I love envisioning the physical transformation of your piece of the world. Wishing you amazing things that we haven’t even dreamed yet for 2014.
Thank you for reading my posts, Kathi. Your comments are always engaging, full of insight and food for more thought.
“and the lessons flowed through”…I’m lovin’ the feel of that. Happy tidings for 2014. 🙂
I love your picket fence!!! It’s beautiful! As is your ability to find gifts in the midst of your challenges! Praying 2014 brings gifts that you have to look for challenges in instead of the other way around!
Ahhh Carrie, i’m beginning to think that the gifts find me.
And yes, that picket fence just makes me smile, smile, smile.
thanks for stopping by to chat. d:)
Dawn, what a great post and such a great detailed overview of your year and I love the way that you pick out the gifts and how you illustrate it all. We have a vision at the beginning of the year, we have a plan and we hope but we can never guarantee how things will turn out. Often we don’t understand why what happens, happens, we sometimes struggle to learn but at other times it becomes clear. I spent a lot of 2013 ‘lost and frustrated’ and I ended up burnt out and took some time out as really I had no other choice. This was the greatest gift of the year and the most powerful. That gift has put me where I am now to move forward.
Ahhhh, Heather…isn’t that so often the truth. My plans for a year are always loose at best. Still, I’ve had a lot of practice learning to stop and pick up the gifts. Wishing you the best for 2014. Dawn
I loved your word pictures. I totally agree with you 2013 – is a wrap. Take what we learned and move on. Thank you
Thanks Carol. Here’s to moving on in a way that suits our groove. Dawn
Dawn, I have to agree. My 2013 didn’t turn out like I wanted it too either, but it was a good year nonetheless. I wish you the best for 2014. I cannot wait to see what it brings in the form of gifts and blessing!
Warmly,
Aletha McManama
You know, Aletha, I’m approaching it from a space of curiosity too. All the best to you as well. Thanks for taking time to drop by. d:)
What a great post. I too am hoping for a wonderful 2014, and I will try to remember to watch for the blessings.
Awareness is Step #1. Thanks for stopping by, Verna. Hoping 2014 brings you Stellar moments to remember. Dawn