perfection quest failDawn Kotzer
a perfect fail
yes, it’s true, I am a perfection quest fail.
Even though I’m OK with that, I still sometimes pressure myself to have it all figured out.
The perfection quest is still ON.
The expectation to have the perfect job, career, home, kid, dog, cat…
ok, cats are exempt…a cat is a cat is a cat. ^..^
the perfect life with the photos to prove it.
Facebook, Instagram, Social Media can’t be wrong, can they?
I’ve grown weary of the PerFecTion Quest. Anyone else weary of it it too?
Didn’t we go through this identity crisis years ago- like in the 80’s and again in the 90’s.
I know I did. I was that intensely driven, uber trendy ocd tidy bowl chick who believed she could have it all. (I still have the 4″ heel collection to prove it. Thank god I burnt the shoulder pads.)
Those who know me now might find that hard to believe. These days I often forget to comb my hair. What changed?
One morning, 2 a.m. perfecting some design piece for my business, I moaned, “Gawwd, I need a creative outlet.”
The irony was not lost on the part of me that still had a glimmer of wit.
I realized I was frickin’ miserable and thought:
I want to PLAY more — being exhausted when special people came to stay was NO fun.
I want to EXPLORE more — really? It’s the first glorious day in a rainy week and I MUST clean the stove or the fridge or the junk closet. Who cares? It’s a JUNK closet. No one needs to see your shoes from the last century.
I want to LAUGH more — I don’t know about you but Cranky has a lousy…make that NO sense of humour.
I want to LOVE more — I like having a happy heart. Falling in love with PerFecTion was just a fling. My heart wasn’t that into it.
I want to DREAM more — running in circles trying to keep up with someone else’s idea of perfect sucks my soul dry.
I WANT to STOP looking for angst — my life is NoT perfect AND it’s still pretty damned good.
I am Not perfect. Yippee! Time to state that loud and clear.
Some days ARE lousy, I AM cranky. Life is a challenge, things DO Not go the way I want and that’s the way it flippin’ is…and yet, it’s still pretty good.
This line of thinking can be a tad confusing until you dare to ask, ‘You mean I get to be messy, screw up, disappoint others AND still be happy?’
Whoa. What a concept.
I get to explore, embrace, fail and explore again. Being imperfectly down but not out reveals truths that might only be visible during the fall.
For me, showing up for my SelF is best done with a lot of kindness, in the playground outside the quest for PerFecTion.
We may admire perfection but we fall in love with imperfection, in ourselves, in others…
Courage, vulnerability and kindness have no need of perfection. As the song goes, “that’s where the light comes in.”
So yes, I failed. I abandoned the PerFecTion Quest and choose to show up as the imperfectly perfect me…and that feels pretty darned good.
Yep… it’s a be real-find freedom day.
Yours in lively, less than perfect exploration in this experience called LiFe.
Inner Wilderness Guide| Mentor| Coach